i thought i was done. i thought i was over you. i guess not. the tears that came streaming down my face last night, were because of you. you surprised me. you didn't change for me but you did for her. i thought first loves were always gonna want each other but for the first time, i see you actually don't want me. you're really trying for her like you never did for me. you have something me and you only had for a littlest amount of time. trust. i gotta say, i am jealous. i want the happiness and the love. i miss that. i miss a lot of things. i don't feel like i'm getting stronger, i feel like i'm getting weaker. i still don't understand how this is so easy for you. questions pop into my head all the time. is she keeping your mind of me etc. but i'll never know. i'll never know what you're really thinking and really wanting. it needs to stop. i wanna let go like you did. i need to get away and sort myself out. you've changed me. i don't like it. i can't handle this.