Thursday, September 22, 2011
i find myself talking about you without realising. i need to stop. i want to let go but i just don't know how. i don't want you or anything like that it's just, i still don't get what's going on, why things have happened the way they have. you're a real fucking unit. i just want you out of my life. i want my old life back. i want my friends back. because of you i lost everything. fuck you. please, just get out of my life. i hate you. ugh.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
i still feel as if i can't put my emotions down to words, i feel as if i have to act out how i want even though no one notices me. i feel as if everyone only wants to see the angry side of me so even if i did one thing nice, there would be no acknowledgement, just judgement from the bad things. i'm sick of being alone and the constant feeling of worrying if i'll end up all alone. i used to have such high hopes for myself, maybe a little bitchy but that didn't stop me from being happy. now i only feel lucky if someone looks at me and maybe smiles. i'm sick of feeling this way. the truth is.. i don't wanna leave school because i feel as if i do then i'll just drift away because it's not like iv'e been apart of a group, i've never fitted in anywhere. it's just hard. i want to feel like i'll be remembered or wanted by others. i feel as if no one will want me in their lives anymore, not that i really have been this year because so much shit has gone down. just, losing everything really starts getting to you.