I need help.

I'm scared to talk to anyone, I'm scared to go to school. i feel like I'm only okay when i am alone. I've lost almost all of my friends. i need to get away from here. I'm scared of everything. I'm scared to open my mouth because I'm at least offending someone without realising. i don't know what it is. all the gossip, i don't know why. i guess i don't know how to fit in and i get nervous so i talk about the first thing that pops into my head, bad or not. i just can't make anyone understand me. i can't talk to someone about it because i end up in tears and i can't handle that any more. I knew I'm a bitch but i never thought that it'd come to this. I hate my life. I'm not a nice person at all. No one should like me. I would rather sit in my room crying than loose more people that are close to me.

it's been so long.

so i really liked you and i still do. it's like your playing hard to get, i don't wanna play any more. i got told by your best mate that you still like me but how can you just let it slide? i don't chat up other guys? why would you not ask me yourself? you already don't trust me and we haven't even started anything. i get told you don't have a reason why you don't talk to me by someone else. I feel like I'm wasting my time. can you tell me I'm not? :/

yeah well!

i have this group of friends, i can open up to them, i can be myself and say whatever the hell i want and they get me. they know when i'm serious or sarcastic. they get me. i appreciate them in every way. this is it. the only group who has accepted me for me because they get me like i get them. i love being in their group. i get excited for school because i know that i have them to talk to. i've never had that before. it's taken me all of my school life to find people like this. i've floated around most groups and haven't found the right one. my group now, well, some may be my age and the rest younger but that doesn't bother me. they are the only people who are more mature and understand what goes on in this crazy world like me. i love them. :)

KK!

kindy was where we met. ever since day one, we have been best friends, even though we hated each other. we've had our fights, in every way but that wouldn't tear us apart. you're apart of my family like i am yours. you've helped me through almost everything. every photo has a story behind it. every time we hang out, something crazy happens. i've never had a friend who's stuck by as long as you have. you understand me in every way. you agree and disagree with the same things i do. we've been in each others lives for almost 15 years and i hope you're around for so much longer, i couldn't stand to loose you again. you're pretty much my sister :)

the little things.

"we need ta hang out more.x" "do we now? :P x" "fukn a! :P x" "hahaha okay :) x" i haven't had a smile on my face like this in such a long time! :D

thank you

everything leaves my mind when you talk to me. everything bad and only the good memories stay. this all because of you. just a simple smile or a little 'x' makes my whole world light up. i haven't felt like this in a while. this smile has been wiped from my face a thousand times and just you, you've managed to bring it back. i'm glad we started talking.

letting go isn't that easy.

there will come a day when i won't think, miss or wonder about you anymore but i guess today wont be it.